Workin' For A Livin' ...

So, I decided this morning that I really do hate my job, and everything (except for my "off time") that it entails. Wanna know something else? I hate it most on Fridays. Don't call bullsh*t on that either, because I know you think everyone hates their job most on Mondays. NOT TRUE, I say!

I hate it most on Fridays because the weekend is so close, and I.Just.Want.To.Go.Home. ... ... ... or out, or to a movie, or ANYWHERE BUT WORK. It's true that I don't care for Mondays, but I don't HATE them.

I am also aware that I don't have the crappiest job on the planet either, there are must worst professions out there. In fact, I have had a few worse jobs in my past that I would never EVER consider going back to. Example one: working at Target. ::shiver::

However, for today's entry, I will discuss the worst jobs in the history of the world in order to bring a little levity to my situation, and hopefully some humor to your day (I know you are like me and like to laugh at the expense of others, or you wouldn't be reading this blog in the first place).

1) Flatulence Analyst. That's right! You can be hired to sniff people's gas all day in order to study the health of their intestines. I'm not kidding, it's real. I can honestly say I would rather work at Target than smell people's butts. And that, my friends, is really saying something.

2) Carcass Cleaner. You know all those displays in places like the Field Museum of the dead animals that have been stuffed? Well, somebody has to do it. If you don't want to know how they do it, then don't keep reading this paragraph... Sometimes they boil them which can release noxious fumes (sometimes causing lung infections and skin breakouts), or they stick a stink bomb into a large aquarium and let the maggots pick the bones clean. Then there is the time honored traditional way of rolling up your sleeves, and delicately removing the slime and entrails the way you’d debone a chicken. Lovely. Gross.

3) Poultry Processor. This is actually a lot like the previous job, except you aren't stuffing after taking out the insides of the chicken. I guess the entire process only takes a few minutes, which leaves you unstuffing hundreds of chickens in a day. Ew.

I could keep going, but this is getting really gross, and of course there are the classics like Garbage Collector, Sewer Cleaner and anything else Mike Rowe has done or talked about on Dirty Jobs.

Wait a second. Perhaps Mike Rowe has the worst job ever, because he does all the other worst jobs for his job. God, that really sucks. Somebody should give that guy a cookie.

Speaking, of tasty treats, it's been a while since I gave my readers one. Here ya go!

In honor of Dear John coming out this weekend, I give you Channing Tatum!




aha!