Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and The Christmas Season

So today is the most hallowed day of the year for bargain shoppers, thrifty individuals, and generally anyone who has a death wish. That’s right, it’s black Friday. A day that I usually spent holed up indoors because I fear for my safety in any semi-public place. And the ironic thing is that I love a good deal. I rarely buy anything full price (Except makeup) and suffer from anxiety if I pick anything up that is NOT marked down. So much so that by the time I reach the checkout counter, I put the stupid item back because I have so much guilt about dropping that much cash on something I can buy on sale in three weeks (If a) I remember and b) it’s still in stock). But I find black Friday so stupendously intimidating I rarely even venture out my front door. If I do, it is usually to eat, and during non peak times. Like, 3pm. Seriously, I really don’t like crowds.

The one thing that Black Friday has going for it, is that all the Christmas sales have earned their title. It is, after all, *after* Thanksgiving and technically part of the holiday season. You know what *doesn’t* qualify as the holiday season? September 22^nd. Which happens to be the first day of autumn and also the day that Macy’s thought it was a good idea to put up their Christmas decorations (I can add this to the ever growing list of why Field’s was better than Macy’s. All you Chicagoans know what I mean when I say this). I am sorry, September is NOT part of the Christmas season. It’s not even part of the Thanksgiving season. Hell, it only barely squeezes into normal Halloween preparation time. This is getting ridiculous. Soon they are gonna have Santa’s on sale in July.

And I like Christmas! I am listening to Josh Groban’s Noel as I write this. Because it is after Thanksgiving and therefore socially acceptable to listen to carols now (Note: this is not okay in months where some of or all of the days of that month days are still considered summer, Macy’s). But something exists that is called too much of a good thing. Like egg nog for instance (which went on sale at Schnucks the day after Halloween. ::rolls eyes:: ). It is a seasonal drink. Meaning egg nog is great Christmas through New Years. The end. I cannot imagine drinking the stuff in say, June. I mean, ew. But this concept can apply to all things holiday related! I don’t want to be seeing snowflakes plastered on windows when I am still in denial about it getting cold in the first place. By the time it actually snows, I’m gonna be sick of the stupid stuff already. Just like if I hear Christmas carols starting in October, by the time December rolls around I’m going to want to sock any wayward caroler in the face. And it is so not the caroler’s fault that I want to gouge out my ear drums every time I hear jingle bells because it has been playing at Schnucks since before Halloween. The caroler does not deserve to be punched.

…Okay, confession. Despite all this ranting, I am really excited for the next month (which, now that I mention it is totally enough time to devote towards one holiday. We hardly need three, Macy’s ). I love the candles I can now start to burn. I love the tiny tree I get to put up in my apartment (with a lovely skirt that is actually a skirt. Like, that I wear), I love the holiday book donation at Barnes and Noble. I love buying Christmas presents (just not on black Friday) and I love getting Christmas presents. And I love Thanksgiving because it designates the time where I can actually start thinking about these things without feeling like I am severely jumping the gun.

And, in the spirit of Thanksgiving I thought this was worth mentioning: It saddens me that we only have one day a year where we are meant to express gratitude. I feel like setting aside one specific day a year for thanks is sending the message that we can ignore it the rest of the year. But it is/was Thanksgiving, and I am thankful for much. I am thankful for my new computer, and awesome tv shows (Even when they kill my favorite characters). I am thankful for good movies, and also bad movies, because sometimes the bad movies are the ones that are the most fun to watch. I am thankful for the sun, and for the clouds for without the clouds we wouldn’t know how special the sun is. I am thankful for French fries, coke products, and also peanut butter. I am thankful for my health, and the health of those around me. Paramount to all of this, I am thankful for my friends and family. You are all what make this crazy journey amount to anything, and I am thankful today, tomorrow, and every day of the year that you are in my life.

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In My Time of...Awesome

Hey all!

SOOOO sorry about the lack of posts this week (although I'm not sure if anyone cares, but whatevs). I've been super busy at work and everything else. However, there is good news.

We will talk about said good news in chronological order, otherwise I might explode.


8:00 pm last night: Glee! I only have one thing to say: "I have to go or they'll think I'm pooping". Those writers are amazing, I'm filled with jealousy.

8:15 am this morning: The Today Show...ROBERT PATTINSON was on. Jesus Christ what a good way to start off the day.

8:00 pm tonight: Supernatural!!!!! Dean and Jo KIISSSsss!!!! I think my heart is going to explode. (Edit on 11/20 -- My heart did explode, but for different reasons than expected. I sobbed for about an hour straight. Eff Kripke and his evil soul, why did you take away my happiness? Why?!)

9:50 pm tomorrow: New Moon!!!! Do I need to say anything else? I didn't think so.

7:00 pm Wednesday the 25th: Going to Arizona!

Thanksgiving: Omg foooooooood. So. Much. Food.

Black Friday: Shopping?

So, there you have it, all chronologically laid out. It's like an awesome itinerary of awesome.

Ok, I'll stop.

I just want to tell you how much it hurts to get a paper cut right on the knuckle of your thumb. Sometimes, I hate my job for no other than one reason: paper cuts. I'm so serious. I hate it. Not the hours, the everyday boring, the fact that I'm the bitch of the office...no, it's the paper cuts.

::looks down at thumb::

Its all red and staring at me. I can hear the file back in the fileroom laughing at me. I am the mistress of the files, and they loathe me. So what do they do in retaliation when I wake them from their slumber? They cut me. Effing file slaves, I should just light the place on fire. I would love to hear them then...begging for their lives as the pages within them go up in flames. muahahahaha. ::shakes fist::

Also. Someone brought cashews into the office. There is like a tub of them sitting in the kitchen. I want to eat them so badly. I haven't yet, but they call to me. Stupid delicious cashews.

I really have nothing else to say. My mind is now blank. I'm too anxious for the weekend to start. I literally can't think.

Need. Distraction. now.

Hey, has anyone else noticed how twitchy Kristen Stewart is when she's, well, being herself? It makes me think she needs help.


Edit on 11/20: This was my happiness, and now it is gone. Don't Judge Me.



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A Little Redundant, Don't Ya Think?

Today we will discuss things that are redundant that bother me (and maybe other people too). I know its not the most interesting of all topics, but keep reading and you might be rewarded.

I don't like it when people have multiple dogs of the same breed. It bothers me. Pinpointing the exact cause of this example is difficult, because it is somewhat irrational and stupid. No offense to any of you out there you have more than one dog of the same breed, btw. I love dogs too, it's just that I would never have like...a copy of one running around?? I mean, having the same breed at different times is ok (like if one dies, and you acquire another), but there is just something about seeing someone walk two of the same dogs around the neighborhood that drives me bonkers. I think it is the repetitive nature of the thing, but I couldn't be sure. I don't think most people know this about me, so there you have it!!

I don't like it when an actor dies in a similar fashion in multiple movies. It bothers me. Once again, its hard to put my finger on the exact reason for this pet peeve. Example: Jared Padalecki. Not only does he die via getting his skin ripped off (because of a sandstorm) in "The Flight of the Phoenix", but he dies in a similar fashion in "House of Wax", when his skin gets peeled off by one of his jackass friends after he is encased in wax. ::shiver:: I need to go to my happy place for a moment, brb. ... ... ... ok, I'm back. Anyway, I know there are other examples of this kind of thing, it's just that this example is fresh in my mind because I watched one of the movies this weekend. The sad part of this story was I watched "Flight of the Phoenix" because I suddenly remembered Jared Padalecki was in it, but then remembered too late that he died...then remembered really really too late the manner in which he died. I'm such a fail.

I don't like it when authors (or anyone for that matter) uses the same word twice and back-to-back in a sentence. It bothers me. Almost everyone does it...except me of course. You know what I'm talking about, right? I can't give an example, because I refuse to type it. It's just too repetitive and makes my eyes bleed. I get super angry and hulk out. I do avoid those types of sentences at all costs. If I have a thought that requires a repetitive word, I will change the entire paragraph (if needed) just so I don't have to type the same word twice. I know its crazy, but I can't change what bothers me.

I don't like it when TV stations play the same episode of a show back-to-back. It bothers me. I mean, seriously, what the hell.

I don't like it when people tell me the same UN-funny stories over and over again. It bothers me. Mostly this happens with the elderly or people at work, so I can't tell them to shut the hell up, but it also happens on News Networks. BUT in that case I can just change the channel. If only there was a mute button for people...

Are you just as amazed as I am about how many things which are repetitive in nature bother me? I wasn't really aware of this until I sat down to write this entry. Maybe I'm more eccentric than I first thought. or...OR

wait...I just did that. Oh, I figured it out. There is an ellipsis between them. See, an ellipsis actually soothes my mind, which is why I use them so much. I'm addicted to their use, and I have been trying to ween myself from them, but it's just.so.hard.

Ah, review time!!
Went and saw "2012" this weekend. Totally go see it, it's worth it. The special effects were great, and it was a lot of fun. I just really enjoy end of the world movies, plus this one counts as a "Waterworld" prequel, which makes it even better. Also? Woody Harrelson eats pickles, lots of pickles.

I guess its time to reward whoever finished the post.


OOHhhhh, I see how it is. You thought you were going to get a picture of hot guy, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!?!?! I see I have conditioned you well, grasshopper. However, one COULD argue that the above picture is of Jared Padalecki.

WHAT?! You don't agree!? Bitch, please.


See? Puppy.

aha!

It's been a bit of a busy week. My sister got the Swine flu (but I'm ok, yay!) and I can't really remember everything else, but trust me, it was hectic. Thank goodness it's Friday!

In my boredom, I've produced the following.

Challenge: Everything must rhyme. Sick Days.

When one is sick
and terribly ill
other people they shouldn't lick
please just take a pill

Soon you will feel better
but before you do
read this little letter
and always eat stew

Soup is often helpful
medicine usually works
a blanket that is lovable
and TV all day are definitely perks

Reading helps you rest
unless the book is action-packed
Then put Vick's vapor upon your chest
or drink booze and get sacked

Plenty of tissues you will need
as well as hydrating liquids
you can try to drink tea
or go on eBay and make bids

Doctor appointments might save you
if the diagnoses is correct
or it could be your doom
...nobody's perfect

They say to take vitamins
and eat an apple everyday
I say kick small children in the shins
and hide to keep the cops at bay

When you're sick don't stay up late
unless its for good reason
like googling GG's Nate
or buying new shoes for the season

Into bed you must climb
with remote in hand
soon you will feel fine
and be able to stick your toes down in the sand

Or...OR just avoid getting sick
and forget about this note
then people you may lick
and for Sarah Palin never vote.

The end.

Good advice, right? Plus it all rhymes, so you know it's awesome.

Everyone have a lovely weekend!

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Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

No, I'm not going to start singing "Fiddler on the Roof" to you, although that's tempting...

It's really that I'm feeling inspired by the news of Jensen Ackles' recent engagement to Danneel Harris (Rachel from "One Tree Hill"). So, I decided to compile several lists of best and worst celebrity couples. As you'll notice a few people make both lists. Some of these couples are a little dated, but man were they epic.


WORST
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez -- Bad, just bad. Especially because through this pairing was born "Gigli"...::shiver::

Britney Spears and K-Fed -- What a mess. What happened here? I mean, really?

Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton -- Weirdness. All I have to say is that blood vial thing was really bizarre.

Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley -- This still makes no sense to me.

Lindsay Lohan and Anyone -- Is there anyone out there who wants to argue with me?

BEST
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie -- Yay for saving the world one child at a time. Plus, they are both gorgeous, the world deserves some beautiful babies.

Heidi Klum and Seal -- They are too cute and keep poppin' out the little ones, it's actually quite amazing. Plus, their Halloween costumes every year are adorable.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal -- Love both of them to death, and hope they can keep makin' it work.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck -- He redeemed himself here with adorable children and what seems like a very normal relationship. Well done, Ben.

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson -- They have been married since 1988 and are still going strong. Plus, Tom Hanks is awesome. I mean, who doesn't like Tom Hanks?

Please Never Marry Because I Don't Want You To
Jared Padalecki -- Come on knock on my door...I've been waiting for you...Besides, a world where Jared is married isn't a world worth living in (in my opinion...no, I take that back, it's fact, definitely fact).

George Clooney -- C'mon, he's a famous bachelor, if he ever got married the world might end.

Paris Hilton -- I'm just being practical here, and doing a favor for Child Protective Services everywhere.

That's all I got for now on that front.

Important things to come! Remember that "2012" opens this weekend, you know you want to see John Cusack make funny faces as the world crumbles around him! The second episode of "V" is on tonight (finally a show on Tuesday!), so I'm excited for that. I'm nearing the end of the shiteous book I have been reading, so I'll finally be able to throw it in the dusty pile under my bed!!

Oh! Lastly. I was bored and on Netflix (awesome combo btw), so I decided to watch this series I had never heard of that was cancelled after the first season. I was really hoping it was going to be terrible, but I ended up liking it. So, if you're ever bored, I suggest "Moonlight". Now, please don't go reading what it's about, it will only make you think less of me. But, seriously, the guy who is the lead? :swoon:

Well, here he is all crazied out, and it looks like he is going to eat someone...but believe me, you WANT him to eat you.

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Total Titular Failure

I'm feeling inspired today. So, I have decided to list some of the worst titled movies or books ever and rename them (even if I haven't seen/read them). Why am I doing this? Well, one: I'm bored, two: because I can, three: haven't you always wanted to do it?

1) "The Human Stain" (2003) -- Poorly thought out. No, I haven't seen this movie, even though it looks like an awesome cast. I just...there is a picture in my head of what that the title means, and its rather immature, so I won't share. What would I rename it? Ch-ch-check it! "Anthony Hopkins Kills: Again".

2) "Free Willy" (1993) -- Mm. Somehow, this title reminds me of the above title....somehow. Enough said? Ok! New name: "Save The Whales Or They'll Eat You".

3) "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (2007) -- Here is when you know you did wrong: when the blogger would rather google Brad Pitt and do copy/paste into the blog of your title than type it out. For Serious. Also, I don't care that it was based off a book with the same name or something, it's called creativity, try it. Or, you can take a look at another movie which gave away it's plot in the title with only a single word, "Titanic". But let's face it, this movie was kind of boring, and a little weird. So, we'll call it: "Why Did I Watch This If I Knew Brad Pitt Dies?"

4) "Sssssss" (1973) -- Apparently, this is a movie about snakes. I really hope no one got paid for it. Can you imagine trying to buy a ticket for this movie? You would totally sound like a dumb ass. So, we retitle this film, "If You Feel Like A Dumb ass, See This".

5) "The Day After Tomorrow" (2004) -- Now, the problem (that I have) with this title is this: there are two ways to interpret it. The first is the day after tomorrow, like today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, which means the day the title is talking about is Sunday. The other way is this... The Day After: Tomorrow. Now, this interpretation means Saturday...which would be the day after today...as in the destruction happens the day after today, or maybe its the destruction happens today and the world wakes up the day after (being tomorrow) and yells a collective WTF!? No one knows. Anyways, I guess its time to rename it...let me think for a moment. Ah, yes. "Crappy Fake Wolves and Cold Libraries Are Your Future After Tomorrow".

6) "Serenity" (2005) -- Don't kill me, I love this movie. However, you have to admit that most films of this genre tend to have spectacular names like Star Wars or Star Trek...epic stuff. This title could easily be mistaken for a debut film starring Serenity, the buxom blond with boobs the size of Texas. Anyways, a far more practical title could have been, "We're Kick Ass: Eat It Fox". But that's just me.

7) "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) -- Also a good movie. However, this is a nightmare for someone with Dyslexia. Let's call it, "Where The F#ck is Matt Damon".

8) "xXx" (2002) -- As previously made note of, you really can't just put several consonants together and expect us to applaud your title. Really, you can't. Don't get me wrong, this movie was definitely bad ass, but they probably could have called it "Fill Me Up With Diesel, Vin", and just as many people would have gone to see it.

9) "The Wiz" (1978) -- I have to pee. Never saw this one, and I don't think I will, because it makes me think of the best pee ever. You know what? Next time I'm drunk and I think I'm having the best pee ever, I'm going to actually name it The Wiz, yeah I am. For those of you who watch How I Met Your Mother, I name this "Tantrum".

10) "Jennifer's Body" (2009) -- Although this movie was actually pretty good, now that I have seen it, I'm not sure I understand the title. When I saw the previews, it all made sense, however, the title doesn't really apply. Well, sure Megan Fox is really hot, but the story isn't all about her body. No, it's not. Plus, when you had to buy a ticket, you were forced to say something like "I want to see Jennifer's body", or "one ticket to Jennifer's body"...and that just makes me feel like a perv. But really, I would have seen it if it was called "Megan Fox is F#cking Crazy". Ok, pretend you are buying a ticket now. "I'd like to see Megan Fox is f#cking crazy please." Yeah, I'd pay to see that.

And that completes the list! Of course there are others, like "Eegah" and "Gigli", which sound more like siblings than films, but whatevs. Just remember to give all your stories fabulous names so I don't make fun of them! It takes some time and maybe even some thought, but good titles are out there. Whether you go with a one word classic, a two word adjective/noun pair up, or a phrase worth a million bucks, never give up!

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Road Trip!?

Hello All!

It has been decided that I am taking myself and I (both halves) on a road trip. Granted, its not until May-ish, but planning is the love of my life (at least when its about something fun). There will be many adventures, and I have to decide on how to document them in the best way possible to post on this blog. Since we fully intend to NOT post pictures of our faces here, we have to figure out how to accomplish a successful road trip photo session sans above the shoulders. If you have any ideas, please fill us in. We enjoy suggestions...as long as they aren't immature and of delinquent nature (lol who am I kidding, send in any ideas).

Also, if anybody has any suggestions of where to stop in a cross-country adventure, feel free to let us know.

Though we have already set out some guidelines:

1) We will be taking a GPS, but it will be under lock and key, reserved for only 'emergency situations'
2) We will be bringing some of our own food so we don't die of heart attacks mid-trip thanks to diner food
3) There will be no sleeping in the car, we have over-stimulated imaginations
4) If we are going to get arrested, we have to plan to do it in an area where we won't end up in a scary jail (you know, like in Arkansas or something...creepy)
5) We will never get lost, as long as we stay in the continental United States, we're totally cool

I can hear some of you already thinking to yourselves, are you seriously not using the GPS? I answer you. Yes. GPS's are for pansies. Besides, we don't intend on getting ourselves into one of these plotlines:


(from DELIVERANCE...we'll try to run if banjos appear)



(from THE HITCHER...I really hope one of us doesn't get torn in half by a psychotic Sean Bean)



(from WRONG TURN...this is probably plausible)




(from REST STOP...if we don't drink too much Tantrum, we shouldn't have to pee every two miles)

Yes. I think we can avoid most of these fates. Besides, we're awesome.

However, there is one scenario we are kind of hoping for:


...wait, no that's not quite it...wait for it...


...eh funny but not what I had in mind...closer...this next one should be it...


Dean: Holy crap!
Sam: Did you see those two chicks drive by in that Rav-4?!
Dean: Did you get their plates?
Sam: No.
Dean: Sonofabitch!!

Perfect. A girl can dream.

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